Sep 21, 2020

Facing your fears

Today I’m honored to introduce you to Rebecca. Having Rebecca in the Spark Studio was a joy, and I can’t wait for you to learn more about this incredible woman. As you read about her journey, I know you’ll be just as inspired as I am by her immense courage and strength! 

I’m a 44-year-old mom, wife, and grammy. Since 2007, I’ve had more than 33 surgeries–9 of those were major surgeries. To look in the mirror is difficult and sometimes horrifying for me. I had been a single mother of two up until 2014 when I met my husband. He has always been my biggest supporter and my strength. 

Over these past few years, I’ve had additional health issues which caused my depression to increase. I had put on weight, and with additional medication, I became a diabetic. I opted for gastric surgery, to gain control back of my body, to be healthy. That didn’t go as planned; I became a medical journal case. After relying on PICC lines for 10 months to obtain my nutrition, it was advised I’d need a feeding tube. Off to surgery again. Well, it decided to dislodge itself after a few months, which resulted in me deciding no more. 

At this time, I was scrolling on Facebook and saw Lindsay and the Spark Group. Her posts were so positive and every day I’d look forward to seeing her and others’ stories. For the first time, I didn’t feel alone, trapped in my own fears.

I’d lost myself over the years… I lost my confidence that others would compliment on. It’s strange,  when I was at my biggest, I felt my strongest. I don’t know when I lost my Spark, but all I wanted to do is hide. Hide under bigger baggier clothes, stay homebound. I lost me. 

My husband and my best of friends say it’s my strength that keeps me going. I guess in some ways it’s true. I am just trying to find my way back to myself… to see myself how my loved ones have always seen me.

What were you most excited about when you planned your Spark Session? 

I was so shocked to be given such an amazing gift! I knew it was going to be such a positive experience, but knowing I’d have to go shopping filled me with anxiety. I had lost 153 lbs, and, well, I had no idea what would look good. And again, I wanted to be covered up. That’s when my husband and besties came up with a game plan. They got me out of my comfort zone, lol.

How did it feel when you stepped through the doors and your own Spark Experience started?

I had so many mixed emotions… excited, scared, happy, anxious. To meet Lindsay in person was like, wow… she is exactly the same as she is in her posts. She made me feel extremely comfortable. Yvonne was my make-up artist and she was just as amazing. If you see the video at the beginning of my session, I was on the verge of vomiting, lol. But that all subsided, and when I was able to see myself after hair and make-up… I was like, “whoa!”

What did you learn about yourself through the Spark Experience that surprised you?

I learned that I don’t give myself enough credit. I am a strong woman. Facing your fears is definitely scary, but it’s when you embrace what you think will break you that gives you more strength and confidence to take on more. It’s helping me to really look at myself and where I’ve been and how far I’ve come.

Which photograph means the most to you to see now, looking back on the experience and why?

The picture that had the most impact on me was where I was wearing my white lace. In that picture,  I had let my guard down and started having fun and enjoying my experience. It’s true, a photo can capture an emotion, a feeling. When I saw that particular one in my reveal, I cried.   

It’s the first time in such a long time I saw me. 

Being able to share my reveal with my husband meant so much more than I could have thought it would. I even surprised him with a few. Heck, I surprised myself! I look forward to getting my photos back. There are a few that I love the way I look and for me to say that–well, I guess I found my SPARK!  

My cover photo and my last photo have and had the biggest impact on me. The first says, “this is me”  and the last, “here I am!”

I just love Rebecca’s story! She was able to overcome her fears and self-doubt during her Spark Experience in a powerful way. Seeing her bravely reignite her spark and let herself truly shine during her session is something I won’t soon forget.

Does this experience sound like something you need to reconnect with yourself? If you want to step into your own power and reignite your spark, I’d be honored to talk to you about what your personal Spark Experience could be!

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