Self-described as passionate, dynamic, and determined, Fierce After Forty Alumni Melanie’s story is one of turning pain into purpose and advocating for others while learning to fiercely advocate for herself. As a reiki practitioner, intuitive holistic life coach, and mental health advocate, she has dedicated her days to nurturing relationships, guiding others on their healing journeys, and creating a world where self-worth isn’t up for debate.
But her own path to self-acceptance and empowerment hasn’t been easy. After years of unraveling codependence, healing from trauma, and battling feelings of unworthiness, she has finally stepped into her power.
Keep reading to witness how she is alchemizing pain to fuel an extraordinary future—one where she is not just surviving, but thriving.
Advocating For Myself
“Things are starting to “click” now that I am acknowledging the wisdom I’ve gained after decades of wrestling with feelings of unworthiness, unraveling codependence, and healing from trauma. Now in my 40s, I am finally learning how to advocate for myself. I am learning to treat myself the way I believe others deserve to be treated. Every day is an opportunity to renegotiate agreements, explore options, and co-create something better for everyone. I finally find myself in close friendships with people who wish everyone well and who nurture relationships by really listening to each other instead of talking about each other.”
“I love having the freedom to be myself yet still feel connected and known. Earlier this year my group of friends suffered a tremendous loss and, about a month later, I experienced physical violence at home. I easily could have lost myself in grief and despair. I could have been swallowed up by a resurgence of the trauma I endured in past lives. Instead, I decided I wasn’t going to abandon myself again. I tried something new by giving myself permission to consider every option I could see and then calibrate my energy to what I actually wanted–not what fear was telling me was possible. I made some empowered choices and then learned about myself just enough to deconstruct some limiting beliefs. I was vulnerable with my friends, took on new projects, nurtured my business, and scheduled my Spark Session.”
“I was determined to rescue myself from feelings of unworthiness and, as Lindsay said, it’s a way to rediscover yourself away from the eyes of men. I shed the roles I’d been victimized in by making the financial commitment to do the boudoir session, spending time with nonjudgemental friends, and working with local nonprofits. Recently the people in my life (both personally and professionally) have been reflecting back to me a version of myself that I long to be. They share the same vision of what is possible if we all work toward it. I am starting to believe that I can use my talents and gifts to help create the world we want to wake up in. They reflect back to me that, though we can’t pretend to know what’s right for others, it is possible to bless each other along the way. The first step is releasing old coping mechanisms and false identities. We are so much stronger together and it doesn’t have to cost us our authenticity–in fact it depends upon it!”
Being Worthy of My Dreams
“To me, fierce means passionate, determined, strong, committed to nurturing what matters most in alignment with your core values by applying hard-won wisdom, and believing you have power and your dreams are worthy of you.”
Alchemizing Pain to Fuel Purpose
“I’m proud of myself for having overcome parental abandonment, a 20-year story of Lyme Disease, abusive relationships, codependence, physical violence, and deep depression to the point of feeling suicidal.”
“I have always referred to myself as “a late bloomer.” I realize now that I just don’t subscribe to the stories we’ve been told about aging–which all seem to boil down to a suppression of our light. I was taught that my energy should only benefit other people, never myself. I was told that I wasn’t allowed to use my power to challenge the status quo. That doesn’t make a life. That way of “living” doesn’t honor me at all and, in fact, I now have to alchemize the pain of my past to fuel my life purpose even though it’s scary.”
“I once had a voice in my subconscious that said, “You’re not built for success.” All day every day it would tie lead weights to my feet and suck all the air out of my dreams. The side effect of this voice was that I ended up using my talents and gifts to support others and their dreams because I knew I had something to offer but I only felt accepted when I was helping. I saw everyone else’s potential to succeed, so I played small and let everyone else benefit from my effort. However, the energy I invested was never fully returned to me because I was giving even more than what could be received. I kept trying to do what I was passionate about in service to everyone else until I found myself undervalued, under-appreciated, and exhausted.”
Stop Surviving and Start Thriving
“It’s so easy to define ourselves by our roles at the expense of our own creativity and joy. I’ve observed women of all ages struggle to feel safe. In the past, women have been tricked out of their bodily autonomy and tricked into giving their power away which left us seeking approval from parents, bosses, and friends. We adopted identities like the helper, the daughter, the peacemaker, the wife, and the mother. Our safety was dependent upon other people agreeing to let us have momentary safety and our worth was subjective. I thought I had held onto my individuality, but I was still hiding because I genuinely didn’t feel safe being seen. My own feelings about myself should matter more to me than other people’s opinions and I think that’s why they call it “a midlife crisis.” We realize we’re more and that means everyone else isn’t going to get away with trying to convince us we’re less. It’s time to stop surviving and start thriving–and we can’t do that unless we give ourselves permission to express ourselves authentically and then love ourselves and each other through feelings of vulnerability.”
Taking More Space
“I keep reclaiming pieces of myself and celebrating them outwardly. My Spark Experience was private and intimate and I’m going to keep those personal photos close to me because they are just for me. I am actively looking for opportunities to assert that I am precious and finding outward ways to express love for myself such as reclaiming my physical space (by having a vision for it and then using my creativity to build it). I am done with treating myself like I don’t have worth. I am letting my anger tell me when I am on the edge of a boundary and need to use my power to co-create a new agreement with others. I am also taking up more space in conversations, and being more bold and authentic when I need to advocate for my peace or joy. I have been reminding myself how good this experience felt/feels to encourage myself to try new things.”
Making Space for All My Parts
“I love the photos Lindsay took by the window in the sunbeams and how she captured my playful side in the curtains. During the lunch break, as I was looking at the articles in the last issue of the magazine, I was thinking about how we’re pulling back the curtain on midlife. My photos capture the raw, vulnerable, enduring versions of me that had been hidden from the world. So many layers of self-protection, survival mechanisms, and false identities had been heaped upon “the real me” and all the younger versions of her. Sure, I found ways to be authentic in my life, but I never felt whole. That’s why I booked the session–to celebrate the parts of me that were just starting to trust they were safe with me. I didn’t want to leave myself behind or lose myself in past pain. The photoshoot was my way of making space to honor them as I grow, heal, and evolve.”
“When I look at the photos I am reminded that I am defined by how I choose to see myself. Through the lens of self-compassion, I can see how I survived my past and embody the divine feminine more now than ever. Spending that day in the care of empowered and unconditionally supportive women helped me see that I am worthy of my own self-compassion. It is possible for others to see me as being as worthy of love, as I see them.”
Investing In Yourself
“I chose to book a Spark Session because I had the courage to boldly reclaim my energy, but being in the studio taught me how good it feels to be so supported and held through the process. I made the investment in myself as an act of ceremony–to prove to myself that I am capable of investing in myself and having only good come from it. The photos are more beautiful than I ever could have imagined, but what I think back on most is the feeling of having pieces of myself returned to me, shot by shot. I’m taking my power back from all those who endeavored to exploit or diminish me. I stopped asking for permission to heal and started healing myself. If anyone out there is seeking validation that you are worthy of healing, this is it. You don’t need anyone else’s permission but your own.”
The Fierce After Forty Project, designed by Show Your Spark Photography Studio, seeks to highlight powerful women over Forty through photography and storytelling. In doing so, we inspire countless other women to embrace and celebrate their journey, bodies, and power – no matter their season of life.
If you want to show off your After Forty Fierceness, contact us today!
Remember, you are powerful, courageous, and one of a kind! Show Your Spark!
Here’s what to expect when you contact us!
- Schedule a free consultation call to have all your questions answered and start planning your Spark Experience.
- Select a Spark Session date that fits your schedule. (Studio located in Braintree, MA)
- Rock the session like the bright light that you are, and create beautiful, tangible artwork to inspire you for the rest of your life.
Remember, you are powerful, courageous, and one of a kind! Show Your Spark!
