Self-described as compassionate, friendly, and dedicated, at the age of 53, Mindi now her fierceness as a woman, wife, mother, and grandmother.
But it hasn’t always been this way.
In recent years, Mindi began to prioritize her own needs, helping her shed the weight of unrealistic societal expectations in her marriage, as a mother, and in her relationship with herself and her body.
Here’s her story!
“Focusing on Who I Am”
“For many years, I was a single parent raising a child on the spectrum. Even after I met my spouse, I still felt that I was a single parent raising a child on the spectrum. It wasn’t until recent years when I began to prioritize herself, that I felt his true partnership. As I rediscovered my identity apart from being the mother of a special needs child, I found myself to be a better wife, mother, and grandmother.
I’ve been learning more about who I am instead of just focusing on who I am in relation to my son. It’s okay to be. It’s okay to not be the mom, the Mimi, and the wife. It’s okay to just be Mindi.”
“Fierce is the Protector”
“When I think of the word “fierce.” I think of the protective mom (or parent). Fierce is the protector trying to do everything I can for everybody else. That’s when I learned how to be fierce for myself and protect my own self-interest. I used to think that sounded selfish, but I don’t think that anymore. I really think fierce means to pay more attention to who I am and how I fit into others, instead of how they fit into me.”
“It’s okay to take back myself.”
“I was in a verbally and physically abusive relationship. I’m proud of myself for being able to walk away and learn that it’s okay to be in control and take back myself and what’s important to me. I’m also proud to have found a partner and not someone just to take care of me. My husband is a partner, we work very well together, and it’s not one over another. That’s what I’ve learned to overcome. Relationships aren’t about either one of us taking care of each other, because that’s when abuse becomes prevalent. Learning to partner has been worthwhile for me.”
Another part of learning to be fierce has been to learn to set boundaries with her own children. As a mother to a special needs child, she advocated and supported her son to the best of her ability. She did everything she could, even according to her son’s case workers. Now she’s bravely learning how to release his life into his own hands, allow him to fix his own mistakes, and set clear boundaries on how and when she will lend him support.
“I was so used to saving him and I’m not anymore. I’m saving my own sanity.”
Valuing Peace
Always in servitude to the children in her earlier years, she is learning how to rest and simply “be.” Instead of thinking “What should I be doing next?” She’s learning to find moments for “me time” to find peace.
“Peace means more than quiet. It’s not just quiet and solitude. When I’m stressed or anxious, I drive myself to Nantasket, grab a nice coffee, simply sit in the sand, and just be. If I can’t get there, I have the sound of waves on my phone. So I listen to that and try to just be. That’s peace for me- shutting off the outside world, even for five minutes to be with myself with a good book, music, or doing nothing else.”
Life at Her Own Pace.
Another part of being fierce for Mindi has been to choose to do life at her own pace, especially on the occasional Saturday. She makes her to-do list but allows herself to not rush to get it done. She’ll do one thing and then binge-watch a show on Netflix. Then do another thing and rest some more. By prioritizing living life at her own pace, she is advocating for herself by creating space for rest, her mental health, and time not doing things for others.”
“It’s hard for us to not be productive and to be okay with unproductivity in this society.”
Showing of a Sense of Self and Self-Worth
“I started on a health journey that included gastric bypass about a year ago. That process with the psychologists and the doctors helped me look more at myself as a whole and how I looked and felt. I realized I felt sluggish. I couldn’t keep up with my grandson. He would run in circles around me.
The weight loss experience gave me a complete sense of self and self-worth that I forgot I had. Being almost 200 pounds at five foot one, I realized that no one with this frame should have that much extra weight. It wasn’t just the physical weight, it was the mental weight of the life experiences that I had had.
It’s been a journey to shed that weight, to be able to shed the emotions of it, to keep going forward, and to show that I can be who I want to be with or without the 65 extra pounds.
Oh, and now I can run and keep up with my grandson! It’s a new Mindi.”
“Being Over Forty is Not the End of the Journey.”
“I chose to be a part of the Fierce After Forty project to show a different side of myself as a woman. I had done a Spark Session with Lindsay as a gift to my husband, but this session was for me. I wanted to show that it’s okay, scars inside and out, that fifty is fun and fierce!
Being a woman over forty (actually over fifty) is okay! It’s not the end of the journey. When I was younger, it always felt that being over forty was middle-aged. But I don’t feel like this is the middle age. I feel like this is just the next step in a newer journey because every life experience has brought me to this point and has shown me different things that I needed to know about myself.”
Embrace Yourself
What does it mean to be Fierce After Forty? That answer will be different for every woman. But for Mindi, it means that she chooses to be fierce for herself. She is embracing her identity, setting boundaries, creating moments of peace, and prioritizing her self-worth. Her example encourages others to do the same no matter where they are in their life journey!
If you want to show off your After Forty Fierceness at the Show Your Spark Studio, contact us today!
Remember, you are powerful, courageous, and one of a kind! Show Your Spark!
Here’s what to expect when you contact us!
- Schedule a free consultation call to have all your questions answered and start planning your Spark Experience.
- Select a Spark Session date that fits your schedule.
- Rock the session like the bright light that you are, and create beautiful, tangible artwork to inspire you for the rest of your life.
Remember, you are powerful, courageous, and one of a kind! Show Your Spark!
