Sep 14, 2021

A Missing Puzzle Piece

People choose to participate in a Spark Experience boudoir photography session for a variety of reasons. Many of these reasons are deeply personal, as you will read from our next featured Spark client.

Her story is one of reclamation, releasing shame, entering the light, and putting behind self disbelief.

Spark Experiences are times to shed insecurities, press into the “edge” of one’s physical expression, and embrace the inner feminine power.

The results often provide the client with profound insights affirming and validating their worth, inner and outer beauty, and healing journey.

Read on to learn how boudoir photography helped the winner of our Phoenix Rising Spark Experience see herself more clearly and take up her inner light.

CW: Sexual Abuse

I finally felt whole. I was strong enough to not shatter from the truth but to instead be liberated by it.

I was the winner of the Phoenix Rising Spark Experience! How it came about was so magical- a boudoir photography session had been on my mind for some time but I never really prioritized it. As part of my own healing process of authentic expression, I had been buying lingerie – almost as if in anticipation for the session! When I saw Lindsay’s Phoenix Rising giveaway in my Facebook feed and thought – how perfect! Then I saw that she was taking submissions on why someone deserved a Spark Experience. I felt dismayed– if only I had a story to share!

Then I remembered, I do.

It’s strange because sexual abuse has colored my entire life – and yet I’ve only recently come to identify as a survivor of it. I had vague and hazy memories from childhood but doubted if they were real. I didn’t believe myself and abandoned my inner child who was calling out for help. I didn’t feel safe enough to let the memories in – I was protecting myself from shattering. Child sexual abuse is shattering – for the child – but for the families in which they take place.  I was protecting my family from knowing the pain they had caused by choosing to forget. After committing myself to my own healing I eventually had a profound meditation where I could no longer deny what had happened. And like recovering a lost puzzle piece, I finally felt whole. I was strong enough to not shatter from the truth and to instead be liberated by it.

In the US roughly 70% of girls are sexually assaulted by age 18. That is a staggering statistic and shows that my story is actually quite “normal.” As part of my own sexual healing, reclaiming my feminine power, and releasing shame, I had my Spark Session with Lindsay. I thought maybe we’d go to the dark places and bring out my shadow side. But the pictures that we created were surprising – they only confirmed my light, my playfulness, and my sensuality. The photo session validated my essence and helped me see it more clearly.

Healing has no shortcuts, and I won’t pretend to have all the answers. Sometimes we need to get out of our comfort zone – to break our own rules – to do what feels “wrong” or “shameful” in order that we can reclaim our true expression. Sometimes we need to expose what has been hidden to find freedom, at the cost of false security or safety. In doing this for myself I hope to pave the way for others – for that 70% who have been violated, like me. To learn my own power- to learn my own desires- to learn my own beauty, so that we may remember our own beauty.

Much love.

I reaffirmed to myself that I am enough.

Leading up to my Spark Session, I was definitely nervous. I had feelings of not being pretty enough, and other worries and insecurities around self-worth. By taking the step to do it anyway, I reaffirmed to myself that I am enough.

I ignored those thoughts and did it anyway.

I felt most free when I let myself express myself through a pose that was revealing. A part of me felt that it was “too much.” But I ignored those thoughts and did it anyway- I felt free. The shoot reaffirmed my own inner light, and that my sexuality is the light – and dark, shameful or otherwise.

I love the playful ones and the tub scenes.

I wouldn’t have done the tub except that Lindsay was so generous with her time- in the end, they are my favorite. I love the playful ones and the tub scenes—

Curious about having your own empowering session?

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